Not that I can’t keep secrets, I do. But this feeling of being the one to whom the squad feels safe to share their confessions is always too good for me. I feel that it strengthens the bond that we share with our friends. However, that very bond can become as fragile as a spider’s web if not maintained correctly. Maybe that’s why I still couldn’t bring myself to tell my BFF that I let his secret out. Not that I plastered in on the class group or in my Insta story but regardless, it did impact his relations with a few people.
It was during our high school, and we were the best of friends (we still are). But that time was different because there was absolutely nothing else to do other than to stick together 24/7. We shared almost everything. He knew everything about me, and I knew about him. People knew that if they are telling something to me, then it will go to him as well. The same went for him. But what he never expected was that maybe I could let out his secret one day.
It was a secret that few people knew, by few, I mean only four people. He had this huge crush on one of our classmates. The guy my BFF liked was outspoken and cute, but he was still in the closet at that time (he came out last to last year, more power to him). What we did not know at that time was that, that the crush was a quire too. So my BFF usually never took it seriously in a way where he ever planned to approach him. But he still was crazy for him.
Just to avoid confusion, let give them a fake name. So my BFF was Tony, and his crush was Steve. Yes, I am Marvel’s Stan. Anyways, so we used to tease Tony a lot. Tony was open about his identity from long before. Of course, he always blushed and was comfortable.
Then one fine day, I and the other friend of my group thought to pass a tiny note to Steve from Tony. Our class was always supportive of Tony, so it was not a big deal if he would have complimented a guy for being cute. However, we did not know that this will scare Steve in a different manner. We thought that of course, Tony will laugh about it and blush, of course. Not like Steve will take it seriously since we thought he was straight. Remember we were just high school kids. However, the whole plan backfired. Steve took it in a threatening way. He thought that for some reason Tony knows about him being gay and that caused the whole misunderstanding. I guess he panicked which is totally understandable.
Steve created a huge scene for a note that said “Yo topper, this hairstyle suits you, Tony”. At that time, it was puzzling, the class thought that Tony has a crush on Steve but they were positive about it. Actually, our classmates were extra careful to always make Tony feel belonged once he came out in the funniest yet awkward manner. Except for a few people, everyone still took him as the funny flirty guy who will complement the guys in the most honest manner! But this scene created a chain reaction among the panicked Steve and the few not-so-supportive students. At first Tony was just blushing but as soon as he realized that Steve is not reacting in a funny way he too started to panic. On top of that, the notes, chits, and crushes were never a nice topic with teachers. We were also worried if this sudden teasing and all will alert the teacher. Soon, Tony announced to everyone in the class that it’s nothing serious, but to Steve it was scary because he had his own secrets.
Now, the real trouble starts here, because Tony wanted to know which one of us thought about this bright idea. The idea backfired so of course, he was not happy as well. So, remember the fourth friend of the group. Well, let’s say he did not have a good image when it comes to keeping secrets. This led Tony to believe that this fourth friend did it and he started asking him. Of course, the friend denied it but we too were scared so we never said anything about us being the one to pass the note. This eventually let some clashed between the group. Of course, the fourth friend was pissed since he was innocent but he also could not just blame us because we were more of the serious types when it came to keeping secrets. Maybe that was our only shield. And this breaks my heart the most. Our friend believed us because it was unlikely of us, however, we were the culprits this time. To this day, I and that second friend couldn’t bring ourselves to confess the truth to Tony. The fourth friend has now become a distant friend but this also keeps us in the guild because maybe the story would have been different.
Anyways, Steve came out two years after high school that is two years back. Tony and Steve are friends now but they are not interested in each other in romantic ways. But that clash between the group still is fresh in our minds, maybe because it would have been us instead of that friend. Not that Tony is still upset with him but it’s not just like before. And the fact that we still have not told him is a real guilt trip and something that can further make it a deeper confession.
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