The LinkedIn Epidemic Of Unending, Incomprehensible Job Titles


Let’s get this straight, if your title doesn’t fit in four letters or less, you are just peacocking. And it’s not just you, it’s pretty much every second profile on my wall, and I’m sure yours as well.

‘Senior Resident Idea Manager, Digital First Empowered Content Curator, Chief Bullshitter of Operations, buzzword, another buzzword, followed by some more’, is not a title. It’s borderline self fellatio. Because informing people about who you are is one thing, dumping a bucket of words that you either made up, or borrowed from somewhere isn’t. You aren’t fooling anyone. Everyone knows what you are doing is fluffing up your feathers to look important, which clearly means you are not.

Can you imagine how it would be to meet someone who just went on and on and on about their personality disclaimer on the first meeting? Wouldn’t it be a dick move? Then why do that on LinkedIn? Do you think people who are actually important walk around with a mile long ID card hanging from their neck? Do you? Does your actual business card say Mentor, Entrepreneur, Digital Evangelist, Shepard in Chief, Advisor to blah blah, This company bought my first company, That brand visited my office thrice in a week etc etc, all at one go? I know you know who you are. And i want you to understand that no one is impressed, at least not the ones you want to be. They are rolling their eyes at how needy you sound, how insecure you are about your achievements and how desperate you sound when you HAVE to tell everyone every single thing in one breath, at the first go. It’s annoying, you are annoying.

I can go on and on, keep taking pot shots at you all, mostly because it is fun. But that’s not why I’m here, and that’s not my intent. It’s simple, if your job title has a tendency to not fit itself in that one coloumn, and is spilling over; stop. Relook at what kind of vibe you want to put out. If you have used words that sound great but mean literally nothing; stop, think about whether your professional career should hide behind a vanity tag. If you have, for some reason, given yourself a nickname; well then I’m sorry, I cannot help you because posturing is something you’ve chosen as a life decision, and that’s where I’ll leave it.

No one wants to work with someone who seems to be either lying, or is delusional. No one wants to hire someone who is clearly over promising, and will surely underdeliver. In short, keep it simple. If you are talented, if you are important, if you are someone others will find value in; they will find you, and will be increasingly impressed as they peel your layers. Give them a chance, give yourself a chance, and most importantly stop influencing the clearly gullible who will be inspired by your profile, and the infection will stop.

So, sit down, be humble. Or at least stop over selling yourself, no one cares for a hard sell.

Guest Editor: Mr. Abhishake Das – Founder, Creative Director – Orwellian Dreams


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