Which Of These Jake Peralta Jokes Would You Use In Real Life?


When I say “The brilliant but childish detective with daddy issues and an over-the-top sense of humor” you know who I’m talking about. Jake Peralta is the heart of a show as excellent as Brooklyn 99 and his place is completely justified. While the show tackles several societal issues, our obsession with it has more to do with the stomach-hurting laughs it gets out of us. And really, if Funny isn’t Jake’s middle name, then I don’t know what is. So, what’s stopping you? Check out these iconic jokes by Detective Peralta and decide your fav for yourself!

  1. Vote for your go-to Jake Peralta quote!

    1. "The doctor said all my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood's supposed to be!"
    2. peace-out-homies.gif
      "Anyways I'm gonna go cry in the bathroom. Peace out, homies!"
    3. bottle-of-wine.gif
      "Hello good sir, I would like your finest bottle of wine, please." (That will be $1,600.) "Great, I'd like your $8-Est bottle of wine, please.”
    4. "I swear, these perps are so stupid. I'd make a better criminal than any of 'em."
    5. "Motherhood....it really opens a man's eyes."
    6. "I am the king of respectfulness, bitches!"
    7. "Oh yeah the guy without a daddy is the one with daddy issues, explain that logic" *awkward laugh*
    8. title.gif
      *turning innocent words into "titles of your sex-tape" every time*
    9. "Oooh self burn! Those are rare"
    3 votes
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