We’ve all had moments when we let our feelings get the best of us. Be it yelling out at an inopportune moment or feeling down in the dumps for long periods of time, the worst part is that we feel a lack of control and regret it later. Slowly, this becomes a more continuous, disturbing pattern. Now, I’m absolutely not villainizing emotions. But being a human with strong feelings, social life, and rational thinking, it becomes necessary to know how to manage your emotions when they seem to overwhelm you, in order to find a balance.
Accept and validate all of the emotions
Too many times we try to brush our feelings under the carpet in fear of expressing them. This only leads to a build up of suppressed emotions to the point that you have to let it out in an unhealthy or toxic way. So, the first step before you say “It’s no big deal”, is to accept that you are feeling angry, or guilty, and then try to see why that is. EVERY emotion occurs to tell you something, and if you start viewing your emotions as helpful, there’s a greater chance that you’ll figure out what’s wrong in life. This also leads to higher life-satisfaction and increased well-being.
Try keeping a Mood Journal
This is a pretty rational and objective technique. All you have to do is find a few quiet moments towards the end of the day, and jot down the major emotions you felt during the day along with what triggered it, how you reacted, was this reaction inappropriate or toxic in the situation, and how you could deal with the same emotions better. The central point of a mood journal is to record your feelings over a long period and identify the disruptive patterns and specific triggers that you are sensitive too. This knowledge can literally act as the kryptonite to your emotional outbursts.
Add activities that make you feel good, to your routine
You can’t just learn to manage whatever you feel in the moment itself. Emotional management is more about a process of strengthening your mind and becoming more composed continuously. So choose your lifestyle in a way that contributes towards your emotional goals and is the least anxiety-provoking. This could mean practising grounding and breathing exercises in the morning, undertaking soothing rituals like having a cup of hot tea before bed, starting a gratitude journal, and educating yourself on emotional intelligence. Most importantly, for those of you who are the ‘listeners’ of the friend group, it can be therapeutic to find someone kind-hearted and share all your feelings with them. You need to ‘let it go’ sometimes too, okay?!
Recategorize your emotions
This is another scientifically proven method that works, though it seems fake on the outside. It has to do with how you categorize a particular feeling- for example, if you’re about to perform on stage, recategorize your anxiety as excitement; studies have shown that this still causes those butterflies in your stomach but with fewer cytokines, and this allows better performance. This method works particularly well for nervousness or stress, because our emotions may sometimes try to blow things out of proportion. So asking questions like whether you really feel that the situation is going to lead to something bad, will help you ground yourself to reality. It’s not easy and takes a lot of practice, but this way you can actually trick the brain that seems to control you.
Try Meditation
I know, I know, elders just go on and on about meditation and you think it’s overrated? Well, that might be because you’ve tried it without knowing the correct practices or its purpose. Meditation involves anchoring your brain to keep it from wandering from thought to thought, being compassionate towards YOURSELF, visualizing yourself in the state you want to be in, and becoming mindful of every feeling, every event around you. This mindfulness is what tames your negative emotions and lets you feel balanced. Of course, there are a bunch of very easy mindfulness and self-compassion meditation techniques out there, so even beginners can start whenever they want to!
You just gotta remember that the focus is on living comfortably with your emotions, instead of controlling or eliminating them. This awareness itself is a pretty big boost for your emotional-management journey!
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